


What We Want Isn't What We Need

by Starry_Sky12



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (kind of?), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet Ending, Emilie Agreste Lives, F/M, GabeNath Minibang 2020, Nathalie Sancoeur-centric, Peacock Miraculous has a different power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starry_Sky12/pseuds/Starry_Sky12
Summary: "Why is it always me?" Nathalie bemoaned. She slapped a hand over her face and made an exasperated sound. The thing causing her frustration was a note, a singular note, and a peacock themed brooch. They both lay on her mattress, boring into her soul.After receiving a mysterious brooch from a long time college and nothing more than a short note as an explanation Nathalie understood her normal life was over. Becoming a fighter of “evil” wasn’t supposed to involve the charming torment of her unknowing enemy but it looks like things don’t always go as planned.With new feelings, friends, and flirtations Nathalie’s only choice is to handle it in the best way she can.
Relationships: Duusu & Nathalie Sancoeur, Emilie Agreste & Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 42
Kudos: 49
Collections: GabeNath Book Club and Art Club Server, GabeNath Mini Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my addition to the amazing [2020 Gabenath Minibang](https://gabenathminibang.tumblr.com/)! I would like to give tons of thanks to the beta for this fic [Archekoeln](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/archekoeln). I would also like to say thank you to [Creativitydeficient](https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/creativitydeficient) for creating (forgive the pun) some [beautiful art](https://creativitydeficient.tumblr.com/post/619374673705271296/what-we-want-isnt-what-we-need-author) to go along with this story!

"Why is it always me?" Nathalie bemoaned. She slapped a hand over her face and made an exasperated sound. The thing causing her frustration was a note, a singular note, and a peacock themed brooch. They both lay on her mattress, boring into her soul.

The note read: 

_Dear Nathalie,_

_If you're reading this I’ve probably disappeared or have gone missing due to my actions. I'm entrusting you with my most prized possession, my miraculous. I was the former wielder of it and now it is yours. You've proven to be a viable worker and an excellent friend. This is why I am giving you this important duty. I have discussed it with my master and he found you worthy. Now, protect Paris and stay safe._

_Sincerely,  
Emilie Agreste_

Nathalie was standing before her bed in a fluffy purple robe. She was, for once, at her apartment and not working into the late hours of the night. It was a seemingly peaceful day for her, until she was presented with Emilie’s letter.

She picked up the jewel-encrusted brooch and stared at it some more before pinning it on her robe. A bright light erupted from the jewelry which caused Nathalie to let out a loud screech.

Soon after, a little blue creature appeared in front of her and it looked at her with large eyes. It immediately broke into a wide smile and began to speak.

“Why hello Nathalie! My name is Duusu! What's yours? Oh, oh wait! Nathalie! Hehe! Well, I'm guessing we're working together now? Oooooh, is this your room? It's very pretty! I didn't get to see it earlier!" The creature rambled on.

Nathalie couldn’t help but wonder, what is that thing and how did it know her name? The biggest question plaguing her was what it meant earlier. ‘Working together’, what could she do with a floating blob?

"Umm what exactly are you and how do you know my name?" Nathalie was understandably concerned about her situation. It wasn’t every day you get a magic animal in your bedroom.

"I'm a kwami miss! We're magical creatures who give people superpowers!" Duusu yelled eagerly. He zipped around Nathalie's head once to express his excitement. "Ooooo introductions are my favorite part! I get a new friend each time!”

After hearing ‘superpowers’, Nathalie’s confusion deepened further. 

"And how do you know my name? I know I don't have a perfect memory but I'm certain I didn't give you that information." Nathalie questioned. Having an unnatural thing, well, a 'kwami' somehow knowing who you are was strange. Nathalie was not one for strange. She liked her life planned, orderly, and structured.

"Miss Emilie told me! I used to see you all the time when you weren’t looking!" Duusu exclaimed.

_Because that doesn't sound creepy at all._

"What does Emilie have to do with this? Something about the 'peacock miraculous' if I'm not mistaken."

"Affirmative!" Duusu practically shouted. His face darkened almost instantly as a thought crossed her mind, looking as if he could cry. "I'm not sure why she gave me away though. I'm a little sad he doesn't want me anymore but I have you now… and I really like you!" The last realization seemed to brighten his demeanor immensely.

That still left one question and Nathalie was going to get her answer. "If Emilie was the holder of this jewelry thing, why can't she do it? Why did she give it to me? Surely she's managed until now." Her thoughts drifted back to the letter to reassess her situation. Her mind caught onto one thing in particular.

‘I’ve probably disappeared.’ Emilie had plausibly disappeared from their lives forever, she stated it herself. How would Nathalie tell Adrien that his mother left him? How could Nathalie tell Gabriel her beloved wife was gone? Yes, Emilie had been missing for several months but they all had hope. Nathalie knew she wouldn’t be able to take the look on their dejected faces, including Duusu. He couldn’t have known what had happened to Emilie with how wide his smile was.

"You were the chosen one of the chosen one! Funny isn't it?" Duusu zipped around Nathalie once more and perched herself on her new holder’s shoulder.

Nathalie suddenly felt a great wave of pity for Duusu and the Agrestes. "Yes, very humorous." The pity was joined by joy, anger, lust...was that sadness? None of these were her emotions.

Duusu turned to look at Nathalie's face and saw it twisted with confusion. "Miss are you alright?" he reached out a little hand stub and touched her cheek.

"No. Well yes? Maybe? I'm not sure. I'm feeling so much but it's not all mine, I sound crazy." Nathalie attempted to explain but it was in vain.

Duusu's face got brighter as he realized what was happening. "No, no, no, this is perfectly normal I promise. This is what the peacock miraculous does, just like the butterfly, it picks up emotions."

_I already ignore my own! Why do I have to deal with others?!_

A distressing thought presented itself to Nathalie and shocked her. "Will it always be like this? All of Paris's emotions invading my mind 24/7?" Nathalie could have sworn she heard something about a butterfly but it was lost in the gibberish.

“Well it’s not all of Paris’s emotions, but you could do something to that extent if you practiced enough.” Duusu clarified. Seeing Nathalie’s still troubled face prompted her to continue. “You’ll learn to tune them out or get used to them soon. Well, unless it’s something really really strong but you'll be ok eventually.” Duusu’s expression then grew a little softer. “Promise.”

Nathalie looked slightly more reassured but still very suspicious of her kwami. “You know for certain that I can trust you? I won’t be compromised in any way?” Nathalie said as she lifted her eyebrow.

“Yes miss, I’m sure. A kwami is supposed to be their user’s most trusted companion after all and I intend to keep it that way!” Duusu looked excited for a moment then it wore off soon after. “Even if I’ve failed just recently.”

“I...I… I’m sure you didn’t-” Nathalie attempted to explain but was interrupted by a sudden burst of emotions. She felt a sweep of sadness, self-doubt, and pure regret rolling off of Duusu.

_What do I do?!_

“Well, I’m sure you were in some way effective however you were used. You’re still out in the field, aren’t you? I know for one I would never put someone on duty for something if they were a failure.” Nathalie said. She wore an awkward smile as an attempt to look warm and comfort Duusu. While it wasn’t the sweetest smile it seemed to serve its purpose, as once again the kwami was smiling at her.

“Thank you, miss!” Duusu exclaimed. He flew towards Nathalie’s cheek in an attempt to hug her. It wasn’t a traditional hug but all the affection was still there.

Nathalie stood stiff and unsure of how to respond to the unexpected affection. Physical affection was something she wasn’t used to. Despite the surprise, it was anything but underappreciated. “You’re welcome...Duusu. I think I’ll enjoy working with you.” Though Nathalie didn’t fully understand the terms of her new commitment she felt that it would be difficult to reject. Nathalie tilted her head slightly to return the hug.

“Me too miss!” Duusu shouted. He further nuzzled into Nathalie’s cheek to show her, his thanks. Nathalie felt the pure compassion radiating off the kwami and it warmed her to her very core. Nathalie had closed her eyes to enjoy the affection even more for a while.

Their moment was abruptly interrupted by an alert on her phone. Duusu floated down and sat on Nathalie’s shoulder to see what was going on. Nathalie reached for her phone and her eyes widened from what she saw. 

A big hunk of rock was parading around town and causing havoc wherever it went. It was turning people he encountered into stone monsters just like itself.

“Duusu would you happen to know what that is? Do you think you missed explaining something?” Nathalie questioned. There was no visual evidence of her panicking but she was surely internally rethinking her life choices. 

“Oh no, this happened sooner than I thought! Um, well evil butterfly man, butterfly miraculous, akuma, Nooroo, the big bad, absolute power, goal, we can do this later!” Duusu squawked. He began zipping around Nathalie’s head once more in distress. “You have to transform, now!”

“How do I do that? I hardly think I'm qualified for this.” Nathalie looked at her panicked kwami in confusion. Nathalie knew she was supposed to use this jewelry to be a superhero but she wasn’t sure how. Nathalie was just an executive assistant trying to not get yelled at by her boss for a minor inconvenience.

“There’s no time to be insecure now. You're perfect for this, you're the only one who can use this here and now. This may have been someone else’s power a little while ago but this is meant for you!” Duusu pressed her nub on the miraculous. “Now let’s go help the others!”

“The others?!” Nathalie finally let out some of her unspoken panics. 

_Just how many of these miraculous are there?_

“Let’s go! Just say ‘Spread My Feathers’ and we can leave! You can learn as you go!” Duusu urged.

“Alright then. Duusu, spread my feathers?” Nathalie said, sounding unsure. “What in the-” Small glowing feathers began to envelop her entire body and she almost reflexively stomped her foot along with throwing her glasses. A large fan made out of peacock feathers unfurled in front of her and she twirled around once before fully opening it in front of her face before stopping to stand in a final pose.

Nathalie walked over to her full body mirror and observed herself. She didn't approve of the outfit she’d been given in the slightest. “How am I supposed to effectively fight in four-inch heels and a long dress with a slit? Why am I blue? Duusu this isn’t practical, may I have a different costume? Duusu?” Nathalie noticed her kwami was no longer on her shoulder.

_Well this is just lovely, isn't it?_

Nathalie, now transformed, picked up her phone and clicked on the newest streaming for the news channel and saw the villain still wreaking havoc across the city. The news reporter began to speak. “The monster is heading for the Montparnasse tower and he seems to be unstoppable.”

Nathalie saw a teenage girl with brown hair partially dyed orange on a bike riding after it. “What is that girl doing? She’s going to get herself hurt. I suppose it's up to me to save the day.” Nathalie said.

_It’s not like all heroes have to jump from giant buildings to save the day, right?_

Nathalie headed for her door to leave. Before she could leave, she heard a knock at the door, which made her take a pause. “Nathalie are you alright? I heard a lot of commotion going on.” The call came from a feminine voice behind the door.

It was her neighbor Caline, one of the few friends she had nowadays. While it was kind of her to be concerned, now was a very troublesome time for Nathalie.

She looked around her room and spotted her window. It opened to a brick wall and went up towards the roof. “It looks like I’ll have to leave through there. I should have thought of this in the first place. I shouldn't have even thought of letting my neighbors see me like this.”

“Nathalie?” Caline said a little louder, sounding even more concerned.

“I’m alright Caline!” Nathalie shouted. She ran over to her back window and looked down. She decided to use the stairs and hope she wouldn't fall. Heights were not on her list of favorite things to handle. 

“Ok, here we go.” Nathalie grabbed the railing of the stairs like her life depended on it and climbed up the stairs carefully. 

Nathalie successfully made it to the top of her apartment building and took in the view. “What am I supposed to do now?” Nathalie walked to the edge of the building and looked down at the street. Seeing no other ways of escape she made a jump for the next building. 

“Ahhh!” Was the first sound Nathalie made as she, much to her surprise, did not fall to her death and made it an extra building farther. Nathalie began to build up momentum and decided not to stop. “Now let’s go help deal with this new issue.”

* * *

After traveling over a few buildings Nathalie saw two figures in full-body costumes in the distance. One was a petite, dark-haired girl wearing a bodysuit of red with black polka dots swinging in, using... a yoyo? The other was a boy with rough blonde hair in all black taking on the appearance of a cat. From the looks of it, he was balancing on some sort of extendable silver rod. 

_That must be them._

Nathalie may have had no idea as to what she was doing but it was of utmost importance that her new teammates didn’t underestimate her. She was there for business and it would be treated as such.

As Nathalie approached the last building something important crossed her mind, perhaps she had underestimated how far she could jump.

The ever so cold, intimidating, fear striking Nathalie Sancoeur turned superhero came tumbling down gracelessly and received a mouthful of pavement.

It was shortly after Nathalie’s fall that she heard two voices above her followed by some commotion. Nathalie rolled over onto her back and was greeted with the same individuals she was observing moments earlier. 

“Why hello didn’t expect to be bumping into two lovely ladies here today.” Said the boy. He was covered in black spandex from head to toe. He and the girl with pigtails both collapsed onto Nathalie after he shook his hand to wave down at her. After an entanglement of limbs, they all began to get up. 

The blonde one got up and began introductions. “I bet you’re the teammates my kwami told me about. Im...mmm...” He placed his hand on his chin in a thinking matter trying to decide his next words. “Chat Noir, yeah, Chat Noir.” He looked quite proud of himself and glanced towards Nathalie and the girl in red. “And you two?”

“I’m Ma- Na-” Nathalie and the girl began at the same time. As Nathalie was going to apologize to her, polka dot’s yoyo hit Chat Noir right in the middle of his head. “Madly clumsy, I'm so clumsy.”

“No sweat clumsy girl, I'm learning the ropes too.” Chat said. It was a sweet attempt to comfort the girl. Nathalie found it quite endearing. 

Nathalie smiled at their exchange for a moment before hearing loud stomping and seeing a building collapse before them. Chat Noir wore a look of panic on his face before extending his rod and jumping up on top of a building to chase after the villain.

“Hey wait! Where are you doing?” The girl yelled.

“What in the world are you doing?” Nathalie asked in disbelief.

_Is he seriously going in without a plan? He’s going to get himself hurt, I'm sure of it._

“Trust yourself, trust yourself…” The girl murmured. She was attempting to give herself the strength to go after Chat Noir. Before she could swing her yoyo she was stopped.

“Excuse me but what should I call you?” Nathalie asked. “I keep addressing you as just a girl but I’m sure you’re going to be much more than that.”

“Oh umm, haha, just call me Ladybug for now? I can think of a better name later. I didn’t think about a name before I left.” Ladybug said. She smiled at Nathalie nervously, no doubt feeling judged for her choice of a name.

“Neither did I it seems.” Nathalie put her hands on her chin in thought for a few moments before deciding. “Alright then, in that case, you can call me Peacock if we’re going by appearance alone.”

“Ugh, h-h-haha that’s cool!” Ladybug stuttered. Her face broke into a wide strained smile.

Peacock could feel the discomfort coming off of her in waves. She could almost see it. Now that she was focusing more on the girl, she could see Ladybug’s emotions written clearly across her face. She didn’t even need her powers to tell that Ladybug was nervous.

Once Peacock stopped focusing on her discovered ability she finally decided to give Ladybug a break and move on. Ladybug’s emotions were getting more intense the longer she stared at the younger girl. “Well, we should go after him should we not?”

“Yup. We totally should.” Ladybug sighed. She took a deep breath and began rotating her yoyo once more. She looked over to Peacock, searching for some sort of approval.

“What are you waiting for?” Peacock said. She gestured her head in Chat’s direction. “Go on I’m right behind you.” 

Ladybug nodded her head, she directed her yoyo at a building in the distance and was swung away screaming.

_Those two are going to be a bigger headache for me than Gabriel and Adrien combined._

Peacock made a jump for the nearest building when a thought occurred to her; she still had no real grasp on her powers. This realization came a little too late as she already gathered up momentum and it was too late to stop.

* * *

After a couple of stumbles, the two of them made it fully intact to the new location of the fight. Ladybug had gotten there before Peacock and stood there as she watched Chat Noir fight Stone Heart.

“Where are you, teammates?” Chat yelled. He was narrowly avoiding plunges from Stone Heart. He seemed to be struggling.

“I’m not going to be able to do it.” Ladybug sighed. She saw the same teenage girl who was on the bike earlier. Stone Heart threw an entire soccer goal at the teenager.

“We don’t have time for your doubts. If you don’t do it I will,” Peacock said. She lunged for the soccer goal and kicked it away with enough strength to knock it from its course just in time.

The soccer goal was now heading straight for Chat Noir. He threw his staff in defense, but while it worked, he was left weaponless. Once he had his back turned, Stone Heart grabbed him by the waist and had him captured in his grasp.

“Are you alright?” Peacock asked. “It was foolish of you to stay behind everyone else…?”

“The name’s Alya, Alya Cesaire,” Alya said. “Woah! A real-life superhero is standing so close to me!” She looked starstruck and started squealing. Peacock felt Alya's emotions and found them slightly overwhelming.

“Could you channel some of that excitement over to her Ms. Cesaire?” Peacock asked. She looked at Ladybug’s direction. It was clear the younger girl needed the encouragement far more than her.

“Sure thing,” Alya agreed. “What are you waiting for, super red bug!? The world is watching you!” 

Ladybug had a look of intense conflict go over her face. From where she stood, Peacock gave her a gesture of agreement. It seemed that was all she needed.

Ladybug hopped down from where she stood and began to attack. She swiftly attacked Stone Hearts’ legs and landed standing upright now on the ground. “Animal Cruelty?” Ladybug sarcastically asked.

“It’s truly shameful.” Peacock intoned. She delivered a powerful jab to Stone Hearts' head causing him to lose his stability. Ladybug’s yoyo tightened around his legs and caused him to fall to the ground and release Chat Noir. Chat rolled into the abandoned soccer goal and hopped up swiftly.

“Sorry, we took so long Chat Noir,” Ladybug apologized.

“Yes, I would also like to apologize for our tardiness,” Peacock said.

“It’s cool you guys. Now let’s kick his rocky behind.” Chat Noir said. He started to run until Ladybug grabbed his leather tail.

“Wait! Haven’t you noticed? He gets bigger and stronger with every attack, we have to do something different.” Ladybug said.

“Yes, I agree with Ladybug. We must think of a plan.” Peacock said. She was closely watching Stone Hearts’ actions to see if he would make any moves on the three of them.

Peacock tuned them out to observe everything around her. She felt a slight worry in Stone Heart as one of his arms tumbled towards the ground. She could feel the tension rise within him. It was like he was scared to let something happen to it.

Peacock tuned in a little more and there it was she could see it. There was another life source within Stone Heart’s closed hand. Then it hit her, that was where the akuma Duusu was talking about was located!

As she was about to tell her teammates she heard and turned around to see the soccer field collapse behind her. It turned black before shattering into hundreds of pieces. Ladybug screamed at Chat Noir not to do it but it was too late and the damage was already done.

Chat Noir went to attack Stone Heart with his refilled confidence only to be disappointed. Peacock listened in as Ladybug rambled about time limits and their powers, calling Chat Noir's attack Cataclysm.

“Didn’t your kwami explain anything to you?” Ladybug asked. She looked quite annoyed with Chat causing him to at least have the decency to look ashamed.

“Wel, I guess it’s up to us. Lucky Charm!” Ladybug shouted. Her yoyo spun up into the air and made quick rotations while being surrounded by a bright pink light. A large blow-up doll appeared in Ladybug’s hands as she tried to figure out how to use it.

“Ladybug, the akuma’s trapped in Stone Heart’s right hand. Notice how he never opens it? I can feel the akuma’s life source from within it.” Peacock said. She was beginning to think this was going to be an easy job. That was half of the fight done if they found the akuma. But she knew better than that.

“That makes so much sense! It’s not on him, it's hidden within him.” Ladybug said. She looked at Chat Noir and then her lucky charm. Without saying anything, she quickly attached her lucky charm to the pipe to begin her plan. “Don’t resist, trust me.” She wrapped her yoyo around Chat’s legs and swung him at Stone Heart and trapped him.

“Catch me if you can!” Ladybug challenged. Stone Heart opened his free hand to capture her. He ended up dropping a small rock from the center of his palm. “P-” 

Ladybug didn’t even need to finish the command, it was only common sense to pick up on what she was doing. Common sense was something Peacock had mountains of. Following her order, she collected the akumatized item to keep it from accidentally releasing the akuma sooner than necessary.

“And now...Alya that tap!” Ladybug shouted. Alya quickly ran towards the tap and twisted it on. The water from the tap inflated the blowup doll causing Stone Heart to release Ladybug suddenly. “Peacock! The akuma!”

“It’s all yours, remember to purify it!” Peacock said. She tossed the akuma in Ladybug’s direction, allowing her to destroy the object.

“De-evilize!” Ladybug shouted. Stone Heart collapsed into a pile of rubble, leaving a teenage boy with an ‘X’ made out of bones on his shirt. “Miraculous Ladybug!” A swarm of miniature ladybugs waved across the area and repaired all the damage caused by the previous battle.

“You were incredible Ladybug, you too Peacock. See you two soon!” Chat Noir said. He winked before leaving the area on his staff. 

Ladybug and Peacock turned to each other and decided to approach the boy who was akumatized. Ladybug picked up the akumatized object and opened it. It was just some pointless conflict between highschool students.

“Oh, Ivan there’s no shame in telling someone you love them.” Ladybug placed her hand on his shoulder. How did she know his name? Did she know him in her civilian life? Ivan picked on this detail as well and started to question Ladybug.

Alya had been filming the entire thing on her smartphone. She began asking a slew of questions relating to stereotypical pop culture heroes. Ladybug ignored most of them, except for the last one about her name. She looked over to Peacock for guidance and all she got in response was a shrug of the shoulders.

“Ladybug, call me Ladybug.” Ladybug glanced back at Alya once more before leaving the sports arena. Alya finally took notice of the last superhero and asked her name. Peacock thought for a moment and chose her final name.

“Mayura, you will call me Mayura,” Mayura said. She turned her back to leave before getting yelled at. 

“Are you sure you don’t want something more straightforward?” Alya asked. She put down her camera and placed her phone in her pocket. She gave Mayura a questioning look and raised an eyebrow.

“I will be addressed as whatever I desire, understand?” Mayura asked. She wasn’t looking to look to receive any confirmation before leaving but got it to her surprise.

“Yes, I don’t know what I was thinking earlier. It’s a perfect name for a hero of Paris.” Alya said. She started waving goodbye to Mayura in an almost mechanical manner and left for the exit murmuring about how amazing Mayura’s name was.

_That was interesting._

Mayura decided not to think about it any longer. She could get Duusu to explain to her later.

* * *

Nathalie was sitting on her couch, feeding Duusu some raspberries from a small glass bowl. She was back in her robe after showering and watching the news. The same reporter from earlier, the one that Nathalie couldn't take the time to remember the name of, was commenting over the video footage from the battle.

Nathalie wasn’t paying attention to anything the reporter was saying. Her mind was still stuck on Ladybug’s words to that Ivan boy. People say the most useless things sometimes. Those who haven’t had their heart broken could always say silly things like that. Love was nowhere near that easy. How could she even begin to think it was that simple?

“Miss Nathalie are you alright?” Duusu asked. He was midway through chewing on a raspberry when he felt Nathalie’s emotions spike.

“Yes Duusu, I’m fine.” Nathalie lied. She tried to bring some of her attention back to the broadcast to take her mind off things. Staring at the wall for hours was doing nothing but worrying Duusu and that was more trouble than it was worth.

_No, there isn’t any shame in telling someone you love them, it’s what comes after is the problem._


	2. Chapter 2

Nathalie was abruptly awoken from her sleep by the alarm beside her like she did every morning. Everything must have been a crazy dream. She released a sigh of relief and turned over to silence her alarm beside her. Next to her phone, she spotted the same blue creature as the day before.

_So it was real._

Nathalie could hardly believe it. Someone like her, a boring office worker, becoming a superhero. She scoffed at the thought. From her new look and name, she could qualify as an anti-hero as well. Dark blue and purple hues weren’t the most welcoming colors.

The small bird-like creature beside her shuffled slightly. The alarm was beginning to disturb her dreams. He groaned a little and let out a small whimper. “Miss Emilie, why?” Duusu whispered. It appeared as though the alarm was not the only thing making his sleep restless.

“Duusu it’s time to get up. I have to go to work today,” Nathalie whispered. She poked her kwami in the stomach and tried to roll him over. “I’ll give you more raspberries,” Duusu still did not wake. “And some of my coffee.”

Duusu cracked open his eyes and glared at Nathalie skeptically. “Really?”

“Yes really, but I have a question before I can give it to you,” Nathalie said. If she had to treat Duusu like a child so be it. Certainly, Duusu was tiring and had an insanely hyperactive attitude but it kept Nathalie in a good mood. Her own happiness was not something Nathalie often had the chance to indulge in and having Duusu was nice for a change.

“What is it, Miss Nathalie?” Duusu asked. He looked over to Nathalie quizzical before his eyes widened.

“Duusu, what is my power exactly?” Nathalie finally asked. She’d been wondering since she saw Ladybug and Chat Noir first use their own. Being a weak link on the team was not a route Nathalie wanted to take. No matter how promising her fighting style seemed. “What do you mean? Didn’t I tell you?”

“No, you’ve failed to inform me Duusu.” Nathalie rolled her eyes at Duusu's comment. The kwami being forgetful was an undesirable trait at times to her.

“But what about that Alya girl and Mr. Gabriel?” Duusu was now very confused. His holder appeared to be such an intelligent woman. It was quite obvious in Duusu’s opinion.

“Duusu, please just tell me. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Duusu huffed at Nathalie’s comment. 

“You get to tell people what to do and they’ll do whatever you want.”

“Anything I want?” Nathalie’s mind fuzzed over slightly. She heard a light giggle reverberate around her mind. It sounded sweet and achingly familiar, laced with a tinge of mischief, intertwined with each sound.

“Yup, you get one per transformation, it's called ‘Command’. All you gotta do is take a little feather from your fan, turn it into a usable amok with your magic, and place it in their heart or inside a meaningful object belonging to your target. The more important the object, the better. That'll increase your control over them!” Duusu explained happily.

“What do I have to say for this to work?”

“I command you to… whatever you want them to do or feel but keep in mind, there are limits.”

“That is a very intense power, it’s almost dangerous.” Nathalie felt slightly uneasy. No one was sensible enough to be trusted with such a power. She didn’t even fully trust herself. There was no telling what havoc it could cause in the wrong hands.

“Mhm, which is why there are, umm, certain drawbacks.” Duusu sounded too nervous for Nathalie’s liking.

“What kind of drawbacks?” Nathalie raised an eyebrow in suspicion. More and more, the miraculous seemed to be intended for (less than) heroic actions. There was something far more self-centered going on, she was sure.

“If you abuse your powers by taking over someone’s life it may retaliate. If you cross too many lines, it may set everything to what it once was and bring back the balance, plus a little more if needed.”

_Or take it all together._

“Something the matter?”

“It’s none of your concern Duusu.”

After accepting the answer, Duusu’s mind returned to his promised reward. “I want coffee!” Were the last words Nathalie heard before the thought of having a peaceful day vanished.

Nathalie finally turned her loud alarm off and set her feet over the bed. She released out a sigh and let guilt overcome her. How could she have been trusted with the details of Emile’s disappearance and walk into her family’s home, pretending like she was just oblivious as before?

Keeping Adrien, Gabriel, Ladybug, Chat Noir, and the entirety of Paris safe was going to be a challenge. She’d already lost bits and pieces of herself over the years but managed to remain intact. This could be the thing that finally breaks her, destroying her completely.

_No, I'll do it to keep them safe. I care about them too much to have them hurt when there was something I could have done about it._

“Miss? My coffee!” Duusu demanded. He broke Nathalie out of her trance, finally allowing her to return to the world outside of her mind.

“Of course Duusu, I’ll get it shortly,” Nathalie said. She slipped on her dark purple slippers and her robe to match. “Let’s get today started.”

* * *

Nathalie sat at her desk, typing away mindlessly about new fabrics. She didn’t care for it. The design business was extremely stressful and every artist acted as if the world would be over any second. Nathalie glanced over at her phone placed beside her desk and read the notification.

_Looks like we're not too far from it._

It was more coverage of another akuma attack. This time it was a teenage girl abusing her new given power over the weather. Causing random harsh winds, chilling bursts of sudden snowfall, and scalding heat waves were taking over the entire city.

“Pst Miss, you have to go fight them,” Duusu whispered. He was hiding in Nathalie’s desk drawer that was cracked open slightly so the kwami wouldn't suffocate.

“Duusu I can't. I'm at work.” Nathalie looked around the room to make sure no one was watching her. She kept her voice low enough so it could not be picked up but the security cameras. She intended to keep the drawer closed completely but Duusu assured her kwami’s couldn’t be filmed. 

“Those two can handle it by themselves. I’m just supposed to keep watch and be their back up.” That had always been her place and she had no intention of changing that. Nathalie was always in the background, watching to make sure things went accordingly. She was the support, the helping hand, the strings to the master's puppet, and she’s long accepted that role.

“But they're only in school! They need to get to class. Help them, please.” Duusu pleaded. He widened his eyes and had taken upon a pitiful look. 

“Fine but if I get in trouble, I'm blaming you,” Nathalie said. She looked around once more and noticed her boss still had yet to return from his personal business. 

On occasion Gabriel has sudden sparks of inspiration. That was normal for any artist. The fact that he would have a dark, mischievous look crossing his face whenever that inspiration hit didn't help her worries. He would leave without a word and when Nathalie once tried to get an explanation for his behavior, he waved a hand at her in dismissal.

Nathalie had let him walk away without another word. Why would she question him? How could she question him? She was his assistant and was nothing more to the man. She knew her place was to remain silent until she was needed.

_I’m sure he’ll tell me when he’s ready, however long that might be._

Pushing that last thought away, Nathalie finished typing her sentence and prepared to go deal with the new akuma attack. Gabriel's unusual disappearance from his normal station was a thankful coincidence. At least there was no need for her to fake an excuse.

Nathalie touched her miraculous on the inside of her blazer and took a deep breath. “I can do this.” She walked out of their shared office and exited through the back door.

* * *

There he was, the fool who had the nerve to interrupt her calm life. Hawkmoth stood on top of a tall building, watching the fight from afar. He wore a gray and purple suit, leather spandex from what Mayura could see, with a full mask that only exposed his mouth and eyes.

_He’s practically a skyscraper, he’s even taller than Gabriel._

“Coming out of hiding so soon, Hawkmoth?” Mayura appeared behind him covertly. If she had not spoken when she did, she was certain she would have gone unnoticed for some time before Hawkmoth realized she was there.

“You must think you’re spy of the year, approaching me unharmed.” She could hear the cockiness embedded in his deep, gravelly tone. If there was a way to verbally smirk he’d achieved it well. “Of course, it’s best to be confrontational, don’t you think?” 

“You're not doing any sort of confrontation, standing here, now are you?” Mayura spread her fan across her face and stood, poised.

“Ah yes, answering a question with a question. I find that quite charming.” He practically purred with his smooth tone.

“I can feel your sarcasm. Don't even try and play coy with me. Now turn around so we can handle this properly.”

“Don’t you look gorgeous? You just might take my place as number one in my heart.” Hawkmoth turned on the spot, holding his cane upright. It skimmed Mayura’s chin before tilting her head up gently. Hawkmoth analyzed her face and, after a point, smiled. “You're the second most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, my paonne.” 

“Using pet names so soon?” Mayura hated how alluring she found him. It felt like decades ago since anyone had shown this much interest in her. She should have stopped if but...“Tch who’s the first Hawkmoth?” 

“Me, clearly.” Hawkmoth winked at her as he slid his arm around her waist. 

“I sincerely doubt that.” Mayura tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. She proceeded to place two fingers on his chest and gently pushed him away in a flirty manner. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking this.” Mayura attempted to grab Hawkmoth’s miraculous but he hastily moved away before she could even touch it.

“Now now, Mayura. You didn’t think I was that easy did you?” He shook his head and clicked his tongue twice. “I have standards, my dear.”

“You could have fooled me!” Chat Noir yelled. He was a couple of buildings away but heard the entire conversation between the two. His senses gained from the miraculous allowed him to pick up on every word. “Dial it back old man! What's your deal? You just met her.”

“Oh, you’re really criticizing me for flirting with a woman I just met? You should know, you tremendous hypocrite, with the way you act around that pesky bug.” Hawkmoth turned to the rest of the fight and became sour. He saw Ladybug finishing off his akuma and snarled.

“What's wrong little butterfly, scared?”

“Hardly, this is only our second battle. You all have yet to see what I’m truly capable of.” Hawkmoth turned his back and prepared to walk away but stopped in his tracks. He twisted his head halfway in her direction so he could see Mayura out the corner of his eye. “Especially you, Mayura.”

Mayura was silent and stunned. She could not believe the audacity of the man before her. He was so daring towards her, acting so bold and brash. A hero and a villain shouldn't have acted that way towards each other. How could he, how dare he… not stay longer.

It had been years since someone had shown this much genuine interest in her. But was it really genuine? Especially not in the manner that was presented moments ago. She could help but wonder, internally, _what did he want from her?_

Mayura’s questions were interrupted by the presence of her teammate suddenly beside her. 

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you? You look out of it.” Chat Noir asked, getting increasingly worried. “I’ll destroy him if he did!”

“Calm yourself. I'm fine Chat Noir. It wasn’t as bad as you're making it sound. He was only flirting with me for a short while.” Mayura sighed and rolled her eyes. She’d only just met Chat and he acted like he needed to protect her with his life. Who would care so much for a stranger?

“Exactly my point! He has no reason to be touching you like that!” Chat Noir was fuming at his point. His shoulders were tense with anger and he began grinding his teeth slowly. “Creepy old man.”

“Are those the words of a hero? I know your parents must have taught you to have better manners than that.” Mayura’s voice, laced with disappointment, encouraged Chat Noir to stop his actions.

“Yes, one person did.” Chat Noir looked away and pouted.

“You wouldn't want to disappoint them now would you?” Mayura wasn’t a fan of quilt tripping but she was not averse to it. Chat shook his head no and looked back at her, as she continued. “You have quite the temper. It reminds me of two people I know.”

“Are they your family?” Chat’s eyes were filled with interest. He hadn't heard much about her personal life yet so it caught his attention.

A look of great sadness overcame her face. “No, they’re not my family. They won’t ever be. However, I do spend a lot of time with them so it’s not hard to read their habits.”

“Oh... Mayura, I’m sorry.” Chat Noir looked apologetic and his eyes widened. He placed a hand on her forearm in comfort. Despite his outlandish nature, he was considerate at heart. The thought of hurting his new colleague was almost painful.

“It’s not nearly as bad as I make it sound. The situation is somewhat complicated to an outsider's eyes. Regardless, I do care about them a great deal.” Mayura’s expression began to look detached from the world around her. She stared at her hands intensely and balled them into a tight fist. “They’re everything to me.”

Ladybug approached them both before they could continue their conversation. With the state Mayura was in, that topic wasn’t going anywhere. She drifted off into the walls of her mind and heard nothing but her thoughts and slight background noise to fill the void.

“Mayura, are you feeling alright?” Ladybug mirrored Chat Noir’s worried expression. The close sound of Ladybug’s voice snapped Mayura back into reality. The harsh grip on her palms loosened and she looked up to see them both staring at her.

“Yes, Ladybug, I’m fine.” Mayura’s eyes gazed around desperately for an escape from her current situation. Any escape would do.

“Shoot, we’re out of time! Bug out.” Ladybug prepped her yoyo to leave before she stopped. She put her fist out towards Mayura and Chat Noir. “Almost forgot, pound it.” She wiggled her fist a little and saw Mayura’s apprehension to participate. She knew she had won her over when Mayura let out a defeated huff.

“Pound it!” They all shouted happily. As soon as their new ritual for success ended, Ladybug and Chat Noir faded off into the crowded space of Paris, filled with all different kinds of building as far as the eye could see.

* * *

After Nathalie transformed to her civilian form in a sketchy alleyway, she returned to the mansion. She prayed Gabriel was still out on his sudden leave and didn’t notice her absence. Once she entered through the front door Nathalie quickly made her way to their office.

Instead of going inside immediately, Nathalie chose to listen by the door, for any commotion she could pick up. If he was going to yell at her for disappearing, she'd rather have Gabriel not do it on the phone with a client.

Nathalie placed her head on the door, thinking it peculiar that he still hadn't shown up in the office when she heard nothing. Her hand went for the door handle, just as the sound of a machine whirled to life. The thought that it was her computer was discarded, having known how that piece of junk sputtered whenever it was turned on. 

She then bent down to look through the keyhole and saw Gabriel slowly rising from the floor, in front of the portrait of his wife, with a purple blob beside him. 

_That looks like another version of Duusu._

“We’ve failed, Nooroo. It’s only our second try so I'm not too disappointed yet.” Gabriel said. He stood closer to the screen and turned it on. “Though it wasn’t a complete failure. Mayura was an interesting character.”

“Of course, master. But aren’t you trying to regain your wife with the miraculous? I don’t understand what you want with her.” Nooroo question in a timid tone, almost scared to upset Gabriel.

“I am simply bored! She will be nothing more than a pass time, I assure you!” Gabriel shouted. He saw the look of fright on his kwami’s face and decided to give it a break. “I will let you pass this time but you must learn, as Hawkmoth, that I cannot be so lenient with you.”

“Y-yes master, I’m sorry.” Nooroo quivered. He disappeared into Gabriel’s pocket to discourage any further conversation.

Nathalie’s blood ran ice-cold, losing all color in her face. She felt sick with herself. That had been her boss. Her friend’s husband, her charge’s father, her boss. She had so shamelessly been infatuated with him, craving his attention. She made a sharp gasp in her distress, one loud enough for Gabriel to notice.

“Who’s there?” Gabriel questioned. Nathalie saw his face turn to the direction of the door through the lock and hastily stood up. Anxiety filled her mind. What would he do if he found out that she knew? She didn't want to find out anytime soon.

Nathalie took a breath and schooled her expression into stone-faced impassivity, as she stood with her back ramrod straight, posture impeccable. She cleared her throat and opened the door. “It’s just me sir.” Her voice was cool and smooth like normal, so as not to raise any suspicion.

“I see. And where have you been? I failed to see you on the cameras and you were not here when I arrived.” Gabriel was interrogating her, as though daring her to lie to him.

“I simply went to the restroom but I got caught in a call with a client.” Nathalie lied anyway. She rode on the hope Gabriel only checked the office camera. It was unusual for him to look where he did not suspect.

“Hmm, alright then.” Gabriel nodded his head in approval and returned to his work. Nathalie felt like challenging him but decided against it. She didn’t want to risk fate and have herself found out by asking too many questions.

Nathalie took a seat at her desk and returned to her documents. She let the information she had just discovered sink in as the chill went up her entire spine.

_Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth._


	3. Chapter 3

Hawkmoth was quiet for an entire week after their encounter, it was frightening to Nathalie. Did he suspect that she knew his secret? What could he be planning? Surely someone had gotten upset by now. She should have been grateful for the inactivity but it put her on edge.

After she told Duusu about their situation, the kwami kept pestering Nathalie to tell Master Fu but she refused. 

Gabriel was still disappearing regularly, which was puzzling in itself. He was even gone that very second. Gabriel wasn’t a man who knew how to plan things very far ahead. He practically acted on impulse. 

_Bzzt!_ An alert from Nathalie’s phone ended her thoughts there. It was another akuma attack.

_Oh, so he’s up there._

“Are you ready Duusu?” Nathalie looked at the table drawer out the corner of her eye.

“I’m ready to tell Master Fu about Mr. Gabriel!” Duusu aggressively whispered. He didn’t want to give away his spot but he wanted to get his frustration across.

“We already discussed this, I’m not ready.” Nathalie only sighed and opened her blazer as an invitation for Duusu to hide. The only response she got was grumbling from Duusu as he went into his normal space. Nathalie took this as acceptance and left the office to join the fight.

* * *

The akuma was another trivial one that put up no real fight. It was weak enough that Mayura was not needed on the field. So, she opted to watch from afar instead of getting involved. While she shouldn’t have hoped for it, she wanted to see Hawkmoth again.

She perched herself behind a golden statue shaped like an angel, as she watched the combat between her partners and the akumatized villain. There was something missing, someone missing.

“Did you miss me, dear?” Hawkmoth taunted her.

_And speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear._

In the moment it took to realize who had spoken, he was already behind her, his body almost pressed against her back. almost touching. His chin hovered over her shoulder, daring to lay upon it, while his hand found its way on her upper arm.

Mayura struggled to not sink into him. She had been starved for physical affection for so long that it was hard to resist the temptation of trusting the enemy. This was her boss, her married boss. “Remove yourself.” Mayura eventually bit out.

“Why? What’s wrong, my lovely paonne? You were not so averse to my advances the other day. Have you grown tired of me soon?” He was teasing her, she was sure. 

“Please stop your inappropriate behavior Hawkmoth. You have no right to speak to me the way you do.” Mayura was struggling to not respond in the same manner. She knew who Hawkmoth was without the mask and that was too much for even her.

“Come now, I know you crave the attention. I can feel it, darling.” Hawkmoth whispered into her ear and moved his hand to her shoulder.

“Lies.” A fierce blush spread across Mayura’s face as quick as wildfire while she tried to kick Hawkmoth in the stomach. It missed slightly, only grazing his side, as he escaped the full blow by stepping away. Mayura’s shortening temper was not helping her skill and Hawkmoth took advantage of that.

“Now, you and I both know I’m not unless you forget everything yesterday and you kwami failed to tell you anything. You know I’m right dear.” He stepped back into her personal space before she could protest, slipping his arms along her waist and balancing her gently.

“Stop calling me dear,” Mayura retorted. She had to say no. No matter what her feelings were, she knew she shouldn't do this. She couldn't do this to Emilie nor Gabriel. And especially not to Adrien, who knew nothing about the whole mess she'd stumbled upon.

“Just accept my proposal. We can be together. I know I’ve only encountered you twice but you’re something astounding. Why, I’ve never met anyone with such resilience and raw passion in their eyes managing to keep a calm face in these circumstances.”

“I’m afraid I can't. Besides, why in the world would you pick someone you don’t know?”

“Because you’re simply enticing. I’d love to have you for myself.” Hawkmoth claimed. He knew he had her because the smirk on his face widened.

“I-I suppose I could… consider your invitation.”

“Oh, I can tell even under the mask you’re just as alluring. I can sense it.”

That made her blush a vivid red. No one had ever complimented her in such a way before. She wanted him to do it just once more.

“Oh, it seems that’s my cue to leave.” Hawkmoth saw Ladybug nearing them and his butterfly flapping away. “I’ll see you later, Mayura.”

“I said I’d consider it!” Mayura yelled. He ignored her, though she knew that he'd heard her. The look on her face was all the confirmation he needed.

“What in the world was that?” Ladybug questioned.

Mayura lifted her shoulders in a shrugging manner, keeping them up instead of bringing them back down. "I was just trying to distract him so he couldn't interfere with you and Chat Noir," she answered.

Ladybug noticed the tone her voice had taken and the cock of her brows. “Are you sure? We've seen him a total of two times and both of those times, it's like he's only coming out for you,” Ladybug lifted her hands in defense. It just seemed strange to act that way with an enemy. Mayura didn’t blame her but was unmistakably not the case.

“I’m merely making him feel welcome so he’ll let his guard down around me.” Mayura nodded her head stiffly and glared at Ladybug. 

Chat Noir showed up unceremoniously and crashed their conversation, looking ready to commit murder.

“Where. Is. He.” Chat Noir looked at Mayura protectively. Hawkmoth being so close to her, welcomed or not, set off some primal instincts to protect what he cared about.

“He didn’t do anything horrible. I will tell you once again, calm down.” Mayura closed her fan and smacked him on the shoulder lightly. “Don’t be foolish, if I make him like me I can use that later.”

“Fine. I trust you. Just don't get too attached to him because if he does anything you're not okay with, I will bury him so deep in the ground he won't know which way is up.” Chat Noir folded his arms across his chest and started hissing almost inaudibly.

“Chat Noir, I will not remind you again I am an adult and you are under no obligation to defend me from everything he does.”

“I just don’t like it. He could at least be more respectful to you.” He puffed his cheeks like a small child and pouted.

“Oh fine. I’ll try and dial it back when you’re around but no promises.” Mayura sighed. She couldn’t ignore what Chat wanted. She had no reason to listen to anything he said but she did. His contentment was something she needed to have.

“Thank you.” Chat Noir looked significantly stressed out and nodded his head. “I have to go soon, only two minutes left. Seeya later bluebird, bye M’lady.”

“I don't want to hurt Hawkmoth but I do agree with Chat. Hawkmoth is a villain and I don't trust him one bit. Plus, it's like he's glued to you or something and that can't be healthy. You've only just met!”

_Oh, how wrong you are Ladybug. I don’t think you could understand how deep our bond goes. We’ve known each other for years._

“I’ll keep it strictly to business. We have a goal and we will reach it, Ladybug.” Mayura assured. Despite that information being known from the very start, she said it again. They both knew the reminder was for Mayura herself.

Ladybug’s earrings beeped, signaling her time limit. “Gotta run, bug out.” She nodded her head and left.

_Only for business._

Mayura stood and kept repeating the phrase over and over in her flustered mind.

_Like that worked out so well with him the first time._

* * *

Nathalie managed to make it to the mansion before Gabriel did. She knew that she had a time limit and was running as fast as her legs could carry her. She dropped her transformation in the backyard and rushed inside the mansion.

She managed to make it to her desk chair before she saw Gabriel return. Instead of entering ominously from a door near their office like normal, she saw Gabriel entering from the floor like the other day.

“Are you not going to ask what this is about?” Gabriel asked it in a worried voice. You could see the anxiety stitched on his face.

“I think I already know sir,” Nathalie said. She placed her hand above her chest over the hidden brooch to remind herself of the threat she could pose to him if necessary.

“What do you know then?” Gabriel asked. It was considerably closer to an accusation with how sharp his tone was.

“I know you’re Hawkmoth. I’ve known you since the beginning. You can’t hide anything from me, sir, because I will inevitably find out.”

“How could you possibly know? I made an effort to be extremely discreet.” Gabriel looked increasingly concerned with how easy Nathalie discovered him. “Why did you never say anything?”

“Simple. Because it never came up. I didn’t know how you might have reacted much less expect you to inform me of your situation.”

“Nathalie, you know I would never hurt you. You’re my assistant.” Gabriel sounded sincerely hurt. The look deepened on his face once he felt the doubt rolling off Nathalie in waves.

“Do I? You’re terrorizing an entire city to get two pieces of jewelry. How am I supposed to know who you would and would not hurt?” Nathalie avoided his eyes and looked down at her hands in her lap.

“But Nathalie, you don’t understand. This is important—”

“What’s so important about it sir? What's more important than the safety of a city that's already scarred from seeing magical butterflies flying whenever someone becomes too emotional?”

Gabriel stared at her for the shortest of moments before he breathed out a heavy sigh. "Emilie. I'm doing this to get her back. I need her here, to this family.”

“But is it wise to resort to such devices?” Nathalie asked desperately. She would help him. She knew she would do anything for him. Even just listening to him now and not turning tail and running to the newly minted heroes of Paris was the most she could do, considering she was one of those heroes.

“You will not speak to me in such a manner, Ms. Sancoeur. I might have trusted you with this information, but you are still just my employee.” Gabriel’s voice took on a tone of pure disdain. His presence became cold, not unlike the persona he tended to display to his staff that wasn't Nathalie or Adrien's driver.

Was he really that stupid? She could reveal him to the police. She knew his identity. He wasn’t in any place to be demanding certain behavior.

Still, she kept herself calm. "If I'm just an employee, why would you tell me then?" Nathalie softly gestured towards herself.

“Because I trust you. I need your help in getting her back. Don't you miss Emilie?" He said after a beat. "I miss her, as does Adrien. We love her, Nathalie, and we need her back.”

“Sir, I miss her too but you can’t just do this.” It hurt her to say it. She wanted to help Gabriel so badly. She wanted to be on his good side. She loved this family more than she loved herself. How could she do that? How could she strip away this man’s hope of having a family? Could she actually do that to him?

“You must truly love her sir,” she echoed, saying it as if there was any question to his dedication. Because, really, she knew there was no doubt about it. Gabriel was obsessed with Emilie. It was clear that he would do anything for his family.

That was one of the things she admired about him; his devotion to the ones he loved.

She couldn't help but look in and yearn for something similar.

She wanted someone to be infatuated with her. Was that so bad? It was selfish but was it the worst thing in the world? Going after Emilie's husband, even though he was under the guise of Hawkmoth, and even though it was purely an accident? It had been over a year since her disappearance. Nathalie felt the guilt from simply wanting. She wanted a loving husband. She wanted a sweet son. She wanted a happy family.

“My dear Nathalie,” he said. “Will you support me?”

“No, I can’t.” She was supposed to be a hero. He was a villain. There shouldn’t be any discussion here. Her only rational option was to turn him into the authorities. 

_It’s a sensible thing to do._

Gabriel slumped into a char sighing in defeat. He held his head with his hand 

Nathalie went on autopilot and searched for physical affection. Gabriel was the only one around to give it. She could feel his need through the miraculous and it was all she could do to satisfy both of them. Surprisingly, he leaned into her embrace and accepted it.

Gabriel must have realized what Nathalie had done moments later, from the way his body stiffened under her touch. “How dare you put your hands on me in such a manner!” He grabbed her wrist and shoved her backwards.

“But sir, I was just trying to comfort you..." Nathalie meekly said, wary of the way he turned away. Maybe she understood the way Gabriel's emotions changed like a light switch, from livid to serene, but it didn't stop the fact that he softened at the embrace. What changed? Did the realization that it had been Nathalie and not Emilie? Was she pushing her liberties?

"Only Emilie is allowed to comfort me," he gritted out.

Her head was lowered, shame creeping on her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Nathalie took a chance to look at her boss, and only seeing his back, continued, "You just looked like you needed someone."

"I only need Emilie, _my wife._ "

"Of course," she nodded her head and tried to keep her face straight. The implication hurt something deep within her. There was no need to say anything because she assumed she knew what he meant. And it wasn't as if she hadn't been called those things before, considering her placement in their industry.

Everyone thought she had slept her way to Gabriel's side. She ignored the accusations because they were untrue. But to hear it used against her from _him_ in particular...

She returned to the office to sit and complete her work. Something as trivial as emotions shouldn’t get in the way of her performance at work.

The tension in the room was incredibly thick, like a dark, misty swamp trying to drown her. Nathalie was on edge, for obvious reasons. Meanwhile, she assumed Gabriel stewed in his frustrations. 

She had, effectively, thrown him for a loop for knowing his identity and refusing to help. Not to mention all that happened after that reveal. Still, she could feel the thrum of her miraculous, and it echoed all of his anger.

Hours passed, with the tension lingering relentlessly, and as soon as the clock struck six, Nathalie abruptly made her way to her car. She wasn't about to stay in the manor tonight. She couldn't. The work and Gabriel’s stiff presence distracted her but once she left for bed, and once she could escape Gabriel, there would be nothing. She couldn’t risk being found crying. Not now, not ever.

“Nathalie,” Gabriel said, not looking up from his screen. He was expecting an immediate reply but when he got nothing but silence, he looked up to find an empty seat and an open door. Nathalie had left and had just exited the manor, likely headed to her car.

"Nathalie!"

She kept walking fast, or as fast as she could in heels. Surprisingly, she managed not to trip as she walked, almost ran, down the stairs; though knowing that her heels doubled in height when transformed as Mayura might have been the reason why. She kept hearing her name in the background, resolutely ignoring each call. She ran until he made it to her car, hopping in and glancing back just long enough to catch Gabriel's look of pity before she drove away in shame and disgust. 

What had she been doing? She saw it now. She could see how horrible she was. She knew how much she meant to Gabriel. He had made it clear. 

_You are just my employee._

She wasn't even a companion, nor was she a friend. How long had they known each other? How much time had they shared? She was just an employee.

All of Nathalie’s intruding thoughts were drowning out the noise from the busy streets of Paris. The traffic didn’t bother her. Nothing was supposed to hurt, but everything did.

_My last name is Sancoeur, and I need to act like it._

* * *

Nathalie opened her apartment door, momentarily struggling with her keys, and hurriedly ran inside. She made way to her room and flopped down on her bed. Now laying on her side we tried to keep the tea from speaking out once again.

Duusu left the confines of Nathalie’s blazer and sat on her shoulder. “It’s going to be ok, miss.”

“No, it isn’t,” Nathalie whispered. Her words would have gone unheard had Duusu been any farther from her than he was at that moment. Nathalie clutched the sheets of her bed in her palm and shivered. “I know it’s not. It never is with things like this.”

“You don’t know for sure. The hero always wins, even if they like a bad guy.” 

She chose to ignore Duusu's childish words. Nathalie fell deeper into her thoughts, as a familiar laughter echoed. The image of Gabriel, tall and imposing, stood in front of her, judgment clear on his features. The words blurred in her head, but him taking away what she'd come to know and love flashed through her mind.

“Duusu, I need to be alone,” Nathalie said. She quivered, fearful of what happened. A few tears rolled down her face in reaction to the torment of her mind.

Duusu, not knowing what to do, left without another word. Gazing upon Nathalie all those years and feeling her faint hurt was nothing compared to this. Duusu exited Nathalie’s room reluctantly to go sulk in another area of the apartment.

Nathalie laid on her bed, feeling cold and alone. Her breathing had now become staggered, causing small hiccups.

_“Oh, you poor, poor thing.”_

Nathalie sat up and went rigid. She knew exactly who that honey-sweet voice belonged to. The peacock miraculous began to glow in small pulses with each word. It was faint but definitely visible.

“Emilie,” she breathed. Emilie Agreste stood in front of her, her form almost ethereal, smiling as though she hadn’t been gone. “It’s you. How are you here?”

_“Well, I’m sure Duusu told you about how I ended up.”_

“Your life was taken in exchange for misusing your powers, correct?”

_“You could say that. I’m not technically dead. My soul was just taken from my body, which some would say is equivalent to my life. My body is still very close.”_ Emilie’s last words were brushed with a hint of mischief, as if she knew something Nathalie didn’t.

“How long ago were you involved with this miraculous? Emilie, you have a family.” Nathalie stressed. She couldn't understand. Emily had a loving spouse, an intelligent child. She had fame and fortune. She had everything anyone could ever want.

_“Over a decade.”_

“Why did it take so long to affect you?” Nathalie was distraught with how nonchalant Emilie was being. She had been using the miraculous for so long behind her family's back, and for what?

_“Oh, I don’t know. I guess when I finally got everything I wanted it took it away. Funny isn’t it?_

Nathalie bristled. "Adrien and Gabriel miss you so much," she said, gripping the miraculous. "Can you reverse... this?" If the possibility existed, then maybe Gabriel didn't need to be Hawkmoth anymore. If it could be reversed, then maybe there was hope in ending everything.

If it were any possible, the smile on Emilie's face widened. _“I'm afraid not. What’s done is done. I can’t undo something like this.”_

“How are you okay with this?” Playing twenty questions was a struggle, but Nathalie couldn't help one last curiosity to slip out. It had been bugging her, truly, to see Emilie without an ounce of worry at her predicament. She wasn't in her body. She was like a ghost anchored to the miraculous. How was she so calm?

Emilie smiled. It reminded Nathalie of the polite way that Emilie deflected questions from the media, sprinkling her words with light apologies that meant nothing. _"I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about it now."_ she began, still smiling at Nathalie. _"You've got more important matters to deal with— one man in particular."_

“Emilie," Nathalie paused, blinking. "I'm not going to abuse my powers. I have complete faith in my team members. I'm only," she stopped, as Emilie's smile twisted into something knowing. "I'm only toying with him for his miraculous."

_“You can keep telling yourself that. He’s already in love with you somewhat you know.”_

Nathalie's brows furrowed. “Pardon?”

It was said that Emilie Agreste was drama personified. She glowed with exhilaration and excitement, stepping closer to Nathalie's stiff form.

_"You see that little trinket on your chest?"_ A translucent finger brushed against the miraculous. _"That's why he wants you, dear."_


	4. Chapter 4

Days turned into weeks turned into months in what felt like a short amount of time that it normally would be possible. Everyone had settled into a routine for their new day to day to day life. Someone would get akumatized, the heroes would win the fight, and Hawkmoth would gain another loss.

Against Nathalie’s better judgment, the meeting between Hawkmoth and Mayura became more frequent. The intention to not get so close to the villain had failed for her. Every time she thought of severing ties with him, they would see each other, and denial would bare its teeth before she could decide.

_Gabriel’s married, Hawkmoth isn’t._

_He needs this more than I do._

_I’m only doing this to defeat him. It must be done._

Though her dread of what they might come still hung over her head.

“Do you truly have feelings for me?”

“Of course I do, I’ll always care for my lovely peahen.” Hawkmoth tried to comfort Mayura with his words and opened his arms to her. She automatically slid into them as she’d done so many times before.

She hugged Hawkmoth and relaxed into his arms. As her head settled on his chest, she felt something that was far stronger than just a heartbeat. The realization crashed into her with each beat against her head. An amok was in him. Emilie's amok. It felt like her.

“If you don’t mind, could I see something for a second?” Mayura loosened the hug and took a step back, leaving his hands on her shoulders.

Hawkmoth watched her curiously. "What do you plan on doing?"

“I won’t try to take your miraculous. I just need to check something. You don’t have to face me, all I need you to do is turn around and close your eyes.”

“Alright.” Hawkmoth turned around and stood to wait for her to begin her task.

“This might overwhelm you slightly so be warned.” Mayura placed her hand on his back and charged her powers.

“What in the world are you going to—” His words were cut off before he could finish his question. Hawkmoth went rigid and his eyes squeezed tighter. She could feel the amok confined, deep in his heart.

Mayura channeled every last inch of strength she had. A couple of beads of sweat started going down her face. It was apparent no one was meant to remove this from him for as long as he lived. Hawkmoth let out a deep groan as she tried to pull with more force. His legs went numb and he passed out.

There was something there. Mayura felt it, throbbing beneath the skin of her palms. Her thoughts spiraled and she pulled her hands back.

_It's tied to her. I can make this work. I can do this. This is enough, this is enough, this is enough, this is enough—_

Tears flooded Mayura’s cheeks as she held Hawkmoth closer to her. She considered returning him to the mansion but that would reveal her identity. Instead, she opted to place him in a dim alley to avoid any suspicion. It wasn’t an ideal spot but it was better than leaving him out in the open.

“Goodbye, my love. I’ll see you again soon.” She kissed his cheek gently before leaving him alone.

* * *

“Emilie, why did you do this?” Nathalie asked. She faced the ceiling of her room, listening to the soft melody that Emilie hummed under her breathe. They were in another conversation, with Emilie slipping out of the miraculous at Nathalie's behest.

 _"I already told you. I wanted him to be mine, and he will always be mine, my dear,"_ Emilie grinned.

“He could overcome this if he wanted to," Nathalie muttered.

 _“You can dream all you want, but as long as that little feather is trapped in him, he belongs to me,"_ Emilie giggled, flopping on Nathalie's bed like a teenage girl. _"What is he? A villain terrorizing Paris all for the sake of me. Isn't that romantic?”_

“He… he does love you most remarkably.”

Emilie tutted, turning around in order to face Nathalie. _“You mean obsessed, but yes, I am eye-catching, aren't I? Didn't he say the same thing to you?"_ Nathalie's lack of response assured her that her hunch was right. _“Thought so.”_

And then she spoke again, her voice playful and teasing. _“You don't have to give him up, Nathalie.”_

“What do you mean?” She knew exactly what she meant, but that didn't mean that she wanted to think about it.

_“Don’t play dumb! I know you’re smarter than that. You don’t even have to use the miraculous because I did half the work for you.”_

Nathalie chose not to respond out of genuine confusion. Emilie being the ex-wife of her current enemy was doing her no favors.

 _“Making me explain everything! Shame on you!"_ Emilie's voice took a turn, twisting into something Nathalie could scarcely identify. _"You said he wants you as Mayura, so you can have him as Mayura. Pretend to be me. Be a nice, little replacement.”_

“I never said— I can't,” Nathalie stuttered, eyes wide. “Emilie, I can't do that.” Nathalie may have been willing to give her life to this family but she still had some dignity left.

_“He loves you, well, me, but through you so it’s still, technically, me. Oh, dear. It's positively perfect! You both can have what you want.”_

“He wants me for me.”

Emilie scoffed. _"Keep telling yourself that.”_

“I could take it away and there'd still be—" The thought remained unfinished as Emilie chuckled.

Nathalie blinked her eyes hard and sat up. Little specks of blue, purple, and pink dots appeared in her vision for a few moments before disappearing.

* * *

After dinner on a roof, the same one she’d seen Chat Noir and Ladybug once before, Mayura planned to put Hawkmoth to the test. Candles surrounded the entire area, littering the area around the table. The remains of a finished dinner were left alone, as the occupants of the feast sat across each other.

Hawkmoth took a long sip of his red wine, feeling relaxed the more he drank. Normally, he would limit his alcohol intake, but it was hard not to oblige once Mayura had offered it. Speaking of his companion, he looked over to Mayura to see her idly swishing her wine glass. "Is the wine not to your liking? You haven’t had much to drink tonight.”

“No. It’s delicious, but that's not the issue,” Mayura shook her head and took a dead breath before continuing. “Hawkmoth, we can’t keep going on like this. You’re hurting people for your own personal reasons and you won’t even tell me what you're getting from all this.” 

He had to realize that she was giving him an out. A chance to quit. She was offering him a happy future with her. She had high hopes that her final lie would strike a chord in him.

“Mayura, we've been over this before," Hawkmoth started. "I can't do that. All I can say is that I love my family.” Under normal circumstances, he would have never let such information slip. Extra intake of wine mixed with Mayura's doubts had loosened his tongue. He placed one of his hands over hers.

“But do you love me?” Mayura asked.

“Absolutely. And I will never stop loving you. I’ve always loved you since the moment you crossed my eyes and I heard your lovely voice.” Hawkmoth got up from his chair to stand closer to her.

“I love you too but unless you can give this up we can't continue this. We must cut ties for both of our sakes. It’s better this way.” Mayura stood up and let go of his hand. She looked back at him and took on a delicate tone. “But... I’d like one last kiss.”

Hawkmoth looked hurt but understood. “I would never deny you that, my dear Mayura.”

Their lips were mere centimeters apart. Mayura's left hand rested lightly on Hawkmoth’s chest and her fingers slightly brushed the purple jewel. His eyes sparked open when he realized his mistake. He soon knew what was about to occur when he felt the twinge of guilt from his partner. 

Mayura plucked his miraculous as their kiss began. His transformation fell as his right arm tightened around her waist. Her hand grasped the butterfly as her arm went to curl around his shoulder from behind.

* * *

Mayura saw her target standing in their normal training spot, waiting for her, just as she had requested.

“I see you’re here Ladybug,” Mayura said. Ladybug jumped slightly from her silent approach but gathered herself after a second.

“What did you need me for?” 

“I have something I think you might want.”

“Well, what is it?” Ladybug tilted her head sideways in question. Mayura pulled out a small purple jewel, placed in between her two fingers.

Shock colored Ladybug's cheeks. "How did you get that?!”

“Remember what I said?" Ladybug nodded for her to continue. "Charming Hawkmoth proved to be useful after all. Ironic isn't it, to be defeated by his own emotions.”

“Oh my gosh, we don’t have to fight anymore! We’re done! We need to tell Chat immediately. I just can’t believe it actually- Mayura?” Ladybug paused her celebration and looked over to her current company.

“Yes?” Mayura squeaked out. Her voice was slightly cracked and there was a quiver in her breath.

“What’s, what's wrong? Are you alright?”

Was she alright? Nathalie scoffed at the number of times she’d heard that question in the past months since she took on this ridiculous task of playing superhero. No, she wasn’t alright, she hasn’t been for a long time.

“I’ll be fine Ladybug," she muttered. "I will not burden a teenager with my troubles.”

“Hey, I’m good at listening if you need me too.”

“No, that won’t be necessary.” Mayura’s voice had turned icy. She stood up straight and looked Ladybug in the eye. The sharpness of her tone practically sent icicles through Ladybug's heart, right where she stood.

“Well, I’ll see you around then?” Ladybug asked, though she almost wanted to pry the adult. Mayura's words were a clear dismissal but the glare of her harsh pink eyes were proving difficult to disregard.

“Maybe, maybe not. Seeing as Hawkmoth was just defeated, I don’t see any need for all of us to remain a team. You and Chat Noir will manage just fine without me.” 

“There are still plenty of things to do, including patrolling to make sure the city is safe,” Ladybug pleaded. She herself had doubts about there being a need for three heroes but she didn’t want to leave Mayura without anyone to lean on.

“I doubt three of use will be needed for such a task but I promise to be on standby if you so wish.” Mayura felt pity coming from Ladybug and could hear the lack of confidence in her own words.

Ladybug was preparing to leave when something occurred to the young girl. “Did you see who Hawkmoth was? If so we should turn him in to the police for his crimes.” 

Mayura tensed at the question. Her shoulders stiffened, body rigid. Mayura might have spun the tale of tricking Hawkmoth, but if Ladybug had any sense to pry further, she would definitely notice that Mayura was just as affected by what had happened between the two adults. Nevermind the fact that Ladybug hadn't been a witness to it- if the teen continued to ask more of Mayura, in what was essentially turning in her 'lover', well, the woman would be found out.

“No, I’m afraid not. A shame really, that man deserves to be put behind bars,” Mayura spat, infinitely glad that Ladybug's miraculous couldn't sense emotions as well. She rode off the hope that Ladybug wouldn't figure her out if she sounded offended and angry enough.

“Maybe not bars but just a little justice. I mean he did terrorize the entire city of Paris but at the end of the day I could undo any harm he did,” Ladybug mused.

“That is the bright side I suppose,” Mayura plastered a fake smile on her face. Her efforts seemed successful from the way Ladybug’s unease changed to something more light at heart. They both exchanged their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Mayura left the rooftop knowing she had one thing to do, one last duty to ensure Gabriel and Adrien’s safety forever.

* * *

Nathalie approached her apartment cautiously, making sure no one saw her enter her bedroom. After returning to her normal self, she took off her blazer and laid it on the end of her mattress before sitting down. She took slow breaths to try and keep her composure. Muling over all that had happened caused a strain on her mind.

The familiar glow on her sweater was her cue to dismiss Duusu out of the room with a soft nod. Emilie's saccharine voice echoed from the miraculous, sickeningly sweet. She'd grown to despise it, a much different reaction since the first time she had heard it, all those months ago.

 _“My, my, what a mess you’ve made,”_ Emilie teased, derision dripping like honey from her mouth.

“And I’m going to get myself out of it Emilie, entirely,” Nathalie said. The calmness that was present in her voice was a shock to Emilie, who was beginning to understand what Nathalie had planned. 

_“You genuinely care about them that much?”_ Emilie dropped her mocking tone when she realized Nathalie was serious.

“I can’t keep stringing us both along. He doesn't even love me for goodness sake. He only wants Mayura.”

For some reason, instead of antagonizing Nathalie, Emilie mirrored her solemn expression. _"Nathalie, there's no going back with something like this. You do understand that right?”_

“I know. Now please leave me to my own devices,” Nathalie sighed and hoped she wouldn’t respond. Emilie regarded Nathalie, a curious glint in her eyes before she shook her head. The glow of the miraculous faded out, and a beat later, Emilie was gone.

Nathalie looked over to the bedside table that held a picture of Her, Adrien, Gabriel, and the Gorilla. The moon was hitting her windows at just the right angle to illuminate the entire frame. Her eyes softened and she tilted her head as a sad smile took over her face.

Nathalie rose from her bed and navigated through her dark room with the occasional spot of moonlight. She picked up the picture in both of her hands. Rubbing her thumb over each of their faces caused a melancholy smile to spill over her expression. ”I'll always be there for you.” A set of tears trickled down her face and landed on the glass around Gabriel’s face. “Even you.”

"Miss, are you sure you want to do this?” Duusu peeked back in when he felt Nathalie’s emotions. They’d discussed it before and with the way Nathalie looked at her brooch was a dead giveaway to her thoughts.

"I need to do this Duusu.”

”But… do you want to?” Duusu’s words quivered when he spoke.

"What we want isn't always what we need.” Nathalie lowered her head at her and smiled with a tear dotted face.

"Humans are so weird sometimes.” Duusu began weeping as he floated out of the room to give Nathalie her desired privacy. The last thing he saw was his master holding an amok in her trembling hands.

"I command you to relinquish your feelings for Gabriel Agreste." Nathalie cupped the feather into her as she spoke. A blue shining light erupted from the peaks in her palms as she felt the magic flow through her. She found it strange, every inch of fondness spilling out into a minuscule piece of jewelry. It had never crossed her mind that she’d cared some deeply.

Her true feelings for Gabriel were now equivalent to a box bolted by chains thrown to the bottom of the sea never to resurface again.


End file.
